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Grace in the Aftermath

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Grace in the Aftermath

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Morgan Mills 5/28/19 Morgan Mills 5/28/19

When the System Becomes the Trauma

“Some wounds are not caused by loss alone, but by what happens after.”

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.It has been a little while since I've written a blog entry, but writing has definitely been on my mind. A lot has happened since my last post, and today I just want to take a moment to reflect on how good God has been to me and my family.

First and foremost, all the glory and credit belong to my God in Heaven. He is the reason I am where I am today, and I never want to overlook His hand in my life.

Since my last entry, I started a new position at a company where I previously worked for over two years. This time, I returned as a supervisor!

When I first applied for the position, I was at the library filling out paperwork and actively searching for a new job. My hours at my previous job had been drastically reduced to only one or two days a week, and I was ready for something more stable. I was also ready to move away from the long commutes to different locations when what I had originally agreed to was supposed to be temporary.

Even that job was a blessing. Through a connection God placed in my life, I was introduced to the owners and given an opportunity that helped me pay my bills during a difficult season. I am grateful for that experience, but deep down, I knew I wanted to grow, do more, and continue building a better future for myself and my family.

When I applied for my current position, I was excited, but I was also nervous. I knew there were circumstances from my past that could potentially complicate the hiring process. I kept reminding myself to stay calm, continue praying, and trust God regardless of the outcome.

Looking back, I can see how my previous time with this company may have prepared the way for me to return. The people who had worked alongside me already knew my work ethic, how I treated patients and staff, and the care I put into my job. I was given the opportunity to explain my circumstances, and I am grateful that my experience and character could also be considered.

Now, almost a month into my new position, I feel incredibly blessed.

The position comes with some unexpected responsibilities, including evening shifts and working every Saturday. It isn't exactly what I pictured in every detail, but I remind myself that I prayed for an opportunity like this. Sometimes, the blessing comes with adjustments, new responsibilities, and opportunities to grow in ways we didn't anticipate.

And I am choosing to be grateful.

God has been so good to me and my family, even in the middle of everything we are still navigating.

The Little Blessings That Mean So Much 🤍

Another thing that has brought so much joy to my heart is receiving pictures of my beautiful boys. It is difficult to explain how much something as simple as a picture can mean when you miss your children and wish you could be there for all the little moments.

Those pictures brought me so much happiness. They reminded me of the love I carry for my children every single day and gave me something beautiful to hold onto during this season of waiting.

I also have family coming to visit next week, and I am looking forward to that.

Sometimes, when life feels heavy, God reminds us that there are still moments of joy to be experienced. There are still things to smile about, people to appreciate, opportunities to celebrate, and blessings worth thanking Him for.

I am learning that I don't have to wait until every problem is resolved to recognize the good in my life.

I can miss my children and still be grateful for my job. I can have questions about the future and still feel excited about new opportunities. I can be walking through something difficult and still experience genuine happiness.

Gratitude does not mean that everything is okay. It means I am choosing to recognize God's goodness even while some things remain unfinished.

Learning When to Be Quiet and Let God Work 🙏

This past Sunday, I listened to a sermon from a pastor I enjoy hearing every week. The message focused on letting go of our egos, learning when to be quiet, and allowing God to handle what is beyond our control.

That message really stayed with me.

One thing I want to continue working on is being more mindful of what I share, who I share it with, and when it is better to keep certain things between God and me.

As we go through difficult seasons, it can be tempting to explain ourselves, defend our decisions, share every detail, or tell people about the plans we are making for the future. Sometimes we want others to understand what we have been through. Sometimes we want to be heard. And sometimes, if I am being honest with myself, I want people to understand just how much something has hurt me.

But I am learning that I don't have to explain everything to everyone.

Not every plan needs to be announced. Not every hurt needs to be discussed with every person. Not every situation requires a response.

And not every battle is mine to fight with words.

I want to become more intentional about protecting my peace, guarding my heart, and allowing my actions and growth to speak for themselves. I also want to be careful not to let hurt turn into negativity toward others, even when I am struggling with feelings I haven't fully worked through.

This does not mean pretending that pain doesn't exist or that difficult experiences don't matter. It means recognizing that I am responsible for how I respond to those experiences.

I don't want the things that have hurt me to change the kind of person I am becoming.

I am still a work in progress. I have moments when I get frustrated, overthink, or want answers right now. But day by day, I am learning to pause, pray, and remind myself that I do not have to carry everything on my own.

I can give it to God.

Still Waiting, Still Trusting 🌱

We have another court date coming up, and I would be lying if I said I didn't wonder what God has planned for us.

There are things I still pray about every day. There are answers I am still waiting for, circumstances I wish were different, and moments when I have to remind myself to be patient all over again.

But I am trying to approach this next chapter differently.

Instead of allowing myself to become consumed by what might happen, I want to focus on what I can do today. I want to keep showing up for my responsibilities, continue growing in my career, nurture my faith, and make the most of the opportunities God has placed in front of me.

I want to keep building a life that reflects the person I am striving to become, even while I wait for the things I hope and pray will change.

Waiting is not easy. Trusting God does not mean I never feel anxious or discouraged. It means that when those feelings come, I can return to prayer and remind myself that I do not have to know every detail of the future to keep moving forward.

I can trust God with what I understand and what I don't.

I can be thankful for where I am without giving up hope for where I want to be.

And I can keep praying for patience, wisdom, a renewed spirit, and the strength to handle whatever comes next.

A Heart Full of Gratitude ✨

When I look back at the opportunities that have come my way, I see so many reasons to be thankful.

I am thankful for a job that allows me to continue growing. I am thankful for the people who have given me opportunities. I am thankful for the pictures of my boys that brought joy to my heart. I am thankful for the family I will get to spend time with soon.

And above all, I am thankful for God's presence in my life.

Thank You, God, for loving me, protecting me, guiding me, and keeping me humble. Thank You for opening doors I could not open on my own. Thank You for the good days and for the lessons I have learned on the difficult ones.

Thank You for reminding me that I can grow through a season I never would have chosen. Thank You for helping me recognize where I still need to mature, where I need to be quieter, and where I need to trust You more.

You are gracious, merciful, patient, and faithful. I pray that more people come to know Your love and experience the peace that comes from seeking You.

I don't know exactly what the next chapter holds, but I know I want to enter it with a grateful heart, a humble spirit, and a willingness to keep growing.

I am still waiting. I am still praying. I am still learning.

And through it all, I am still choosing to trust God.

A Prayer for the Season I'm In🙏🕯️🕊️

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for every opportunity, every blessing, and every door You have opened for me. Thank You for carrying me through the seasons when I felt uncertain and reminding me that I am never walking alone.

Please continue to renew my spirit and give me patience as I wait for answers. Help me know when to speak and when to be quiet. Teach me to guard my heart without allowing it to become hardened, and help me release the things I cannot control into Your hands.

Keep me humble when things are going well and faithful when things feel difficult. Help me recognize the blessings in front of me without losing hope for the prayers I am still waiting to see answered.

Please continue to protect my family, guide our steps, and give us strength for the days ahead.

I trust that I can keep moving forward with You beside me, one day at a time.

In Jesus' name, Amen.